Are Quakers Christians?

I've officially been a Quaker for only a few months, but I've self-identified as one for several years, despite growing up Methodist. My children have never known any other religious institution. But this week I feel like I've missed the point. Or it's missed me.

I got into a discussion with two [Ff]riends at meeting on Sunday about the Bible and Christianity in general. You see, I'm one of those Quakers who don't believe in that Jesus stuff. I believe he was a terrific teacher, and there are many lessons to be learned from the stories about him, but the resurrection, son of God stuff... not so much.

I'm not sure about God, either. What I can believe in is the Light within and the Quaker testimonies. Let's see if I can remember them all (probably not): peace, truth, equality, community, stewardship, simplicity, social action. I've seen them paraphrased in many ways, but this is how I see them. Another important point that isn't spelled out is gentleness. Gentleness with each other, with other non-Friends, and with our environment. To me, these are a recipe for living, regardless of what you believe in within your own heart. Everyone has the Light [of God] within, and it's our purpose to "answer" it, as George Fox said.

George Fox also said that the Religious Society of Friends were Christians and that the Bible was an important source of inspiration. Here's where George and I part ways. I believe the Bible is a product of its time, just as, say, the Nancy Drew mysteries were/are a product of their time. The Bible is full of conventional wisdom, but not of the modern era, and with the discovery of the Nag Hammadi codices, all bets are off. It could be that the Bible was a political document, written by a group of men who planned to build a dynastic church that would make them and their descendants wealthy and powerful. It could be that parts of the original gospels were hidden away in ancient Egypt because those power-hungry men wanted them destroyed. We can't know. What we do know is that the Bible was written by men of a certain time, and humans of all races, creeds and colors always have their own agendas. If it were truly the word of God, it wouldn't be full of contradictions and anachronisms for the modern age. I would hope it would be truly timeless, with truths that hold for eternity. The Bible as we know it doesn't represent that for me. It has some good lessons in it, but I don't think it's any more important than a lot of other books.

The discussion I had with my [Ff]riends at meeting concerned the decision by Worship & Ministry to give Obadiah books to kindergartners instead of children's Bibles. I cheered this decision, having had to comfort my then-six-year-old daughter as she sobbed for an entire day after reading about the crucifixion several years ago. I said then that I don't see why horrific events that may or may not have happened 2000 years ago need to be a part of the gentleness that I know and love about Quakers. It's fine if some Friends choose to believe it, but I don't see it as an essential part of Quakerism, despite the fact that George Fox espoused it. I'm sometimes disturbed by the fact that my children get mixed messages about Quakers and Christianity in and out of meeting. I just have to trust that they will find their own paths using all the tools they're given, not just the Christian ones. (Not to mention that their papa is a nominally-Hindu atheist, but that's another story).

Anyway, my [Ff]riends were disturbed by the decision because they wanted their children to get this very important book from their meeting. I can understand that, and I believe, as does one of my [Ff]riends, that asking the parents to choose for their own children might have been a better choice. (Worship & Ministry will give Bibles to the children, but not until 8th grade). They also told me that some people apparently feel that they need to temper their messages in meeting so they have a less Biblical tone. I wish that were not true, because they should say what they believe whether others agree with it or not, but if they don't feel they can, I'm not sure what I can do about that. Quakers have a time-honored tradition of saying what they believe regardless of their audience, often going to jail in the process. I don't see why it should be different now. No one's going to arrest anyone for it, at least not yet.

Anyway, my point is, once again, I feel like an outsider. I left the Methodist church because I didn't believe in the Protestant Bible and I really didn't like having someone lecture me every week on what I should do and say and think. I was secular for many years, believing that there was no spiritual community that would welcome a heathen like me. I thought I had found a home in my meeting, but in the months since I became a member, I've been wondering if I've been kidding myself. I'm feeling the push-pull of needing to stand up for myself and my beliefs but also to be gentle with my Christian Friends, and it's hard. Answering that of God in everyone, even people I don't particularly like, has been a challenge; one that I usually fail at miserably. I'm not good at being gentle with everyone, but I try. I attended my meeting for seven years before I joined, largely because all my reading indicated that Quakers were Christians, make no mistake, and I couldn't reconcile myself with that. It was only the reassurance of my [Ff]riends that I was not alone in my beliefs that led me to go ahead and apply for membership.

I know that I can believe in that of God in everyone, even if I can't always answer it. I know that I want to live by the Quaker testimonies as much as I can. But my faith is rooted on the Earth, in the people and their Light, not in some amorphous presence called God, or in an old storybook. I can't be a Christian (or a Jew or a Muslim), but I really want to be a Quaker. I hope I still can.

If you're bored, you're not paying attention...

The other day a fellow mom from my daughters' school told me she was getting a seasonal job because she was bored.

This is mind-boggling to me.

In a world at war, with thousands of children going hungry, with the Internet open 24/7, how is it possible to get bored?? There is always another book to read, another blog to write, another boneheaded government move to protest.

I have the opposite problem. The world of ideas is so vast and there is so much to be done that I can't wrap my mind around it. I have to take things piece by piece, in baby steps, just to begin to comprehend their place in the world, not to mention my own. There are days when I find it all so overwhelming that I just want to admit defeat and pull the covers over my head. There are also days when I blow a whole morning jumping from blog to blog, even reading all the trolls, just to get a glimpse of the sheer variety of human nature. That, and, well, a few Daily Show videos.

I can't remember being bored in my adult life, ever. As a kid, sure, sometimes, but that was in the Dark Ages before computers and cell phones and a driver's license of my own. Now I am paralyzed by choice, unable to do much of anything because I can't decide where to start. I'm not even bored by housework since I got an iPod. Now I can listen to books or podcasts while I'm folding laundry and doing dishes. My days are framed by the departures and arrivals of my children, but I have a good seven hours to call my own, most days. I wish I could say I was using them to the fullest. I'm new at this kids-in-school-all-day thing. Maybe I'll get the hang of it eventually.

When they go to college.

Life under the microscope

"What did you say to that driver, Mom?"

"What are you eating?"

"What are you doing on the computer?"

"Why did you do/say/eat/read that, Mom?"

Are these familiar to you? If so, then you are living under the microscope. You think employers are watching you, try living with a couple of young kids. They watch your every move and ask questions about every single thing they don't understand, which is quite a bit at first. As they get older and find out they already have all the answers, they ask less and lecture more, complete with rolled eyes.

You can't mutter something under your breath, because they have bat-like hearing. Unless you're actually talking to them, in which case they are stone deaf. I hear it's worse when they become teenagers. I can't imagine.

Sometimes it makes you really think about why you did/said/ate/read something, but most of the time it's just annoying, because the questions don't stop there. Once they find out what you said, they want to know exactly what you meant, complete with dictionary definitions. "I don't know" comes out of my mouth so often now that I really don't think I know bloody anything anymore. But if I spent the time to fully answer all the questions, I would do nothing else all day. No laundry, no cooking, nothing.

Hey, maybe that's not a bad idea...